Roots of the Tree
I experienced severe physical abuse as an infant that left my body traumatized and broken in various parts.
I became a lonely child, always having difficulties finding friends, fitting in and connecting with others.
Craving for attention, I became adept in extreme physical expressions.
I perceived my life as a struggle and believed that I am not like others.
I started to isolate myself with books and video games.
I often did not want to see anybody for the fear of being judged, not valued enough, or weird etc.
I felt left out in every group I stepped into and one way or another always failed to have a relaxed approach towards new environments.
This would later express itself in my constant challenging of authorities and rules.
Always seeking fights, encountering conflict wherever I went and developing heavy substance abuse added to my self reflection of a failing human that is not worthy of acceptance, appreciation and love.
The Deep End
My life boiled down to working, getting high, clubbing and surrendering to any form of excess.
At this point nothing worked anymore - I failed my studies, apprenticeships, relationships one after the other and days, weeks and months melted together into one nasty mud.
After a severe drug overdose where I came to experience my first near-death experience, combined with the failing of my final exams to become a chef, I knew I needed to get out of this mess and fast.
There was some place in my mind that still functioned and would say:
"Since it was you who got yourself into this mess, you can also get yourself out of it."
I decided to face my problems head on, since it was the only way I knew, and confronted my issues one after the other until none would be left.
I started to travel and within little less than a year of exploring Central- and South America, my mindset and approaches started to change rapidly.
I came back and after finishing my studies and graduating first a certified chef and later a personal and group fitness instructor, I dedicated myself to the work, no matter the cost.
I transformed abuse into exploration, exploration into appreciation, and appreciation into cultivation of my mind and my body.
From having no self-esteem to confidence in my abilities, and wanting to prove that I could master any obstacle I knew it would take time.
But I was committed.
More than anything, I tried to learn as much as possible about my fears and what held me back.
I nourished my dreams and found ways to put them into action one after the other.
Slowly I crept toward who I wanted to become.
I understood that I had to make active and clear decisions, instead of sulking in self-pity and hoping for miracles to happen.
To invest into my development became a priority.
Understanding my mental issues, how I have built habits and beliefs, the way I learn, how I solve problems, eat, sleep and most of all how to combine all of these areas.
How I could learn faster, optimise my methods, strengthen my mindset and build routines that would never fail me or prevent me from achieving what I wanted to.
And so I learned about how to better access my energies and my physical structures.
I found, having a background in physical fitness was not enough to satisfy my curiosity and so I kept on evolving my movement intelligence with Parkour, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Barefoot Rock Climbing.
Finally, I found that the core of knowledge and learning really comes from sharing with others. After more and more people started to ask me how I would do the things they saw me do, I gradually created the foundation of what became the 5 pillar concept to any type of performance, and committed full time to helping people create as much awareness around their bodies and their minds as I could.
The Fruits of long labors
Today, I am honored to be able to train other coaches, host workshops and create retreats all around the globe to help people integrate deep rooted traumas through physical and mental explorations.
My values & contribution.
I believe that nothing is more powerful than simple, clear and authentic awareness of ourselves.
That is what I am committed to improve and share.
Let's connect and work together toward that end.
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